Today. 16/11/2010. 11.57pm.

Im blanked. I dont know what the hell went wrong. Im seriouly a confused girl. I hate it. I hate it. May God will be my my side. Im darn blanked. I dont know what i need. Fuhh.... This is just too darn Stupid for me. Im not a child but im not old enough either. What?? =,=' What the hell?


Need to focus. Need to be strong.

Miss 'New girl'

This semester I have a complete story to make it out of. I have been through a lot and im not just saying its me but its everything around me. I believe that it has a twitch somewhere behind those eyes. Im updating here because its the only place that none of my friends or family or boyfriend ould catch up to see this. I just know it. Care too much huh. But oh well. Whats that its that. We expect things to be perfect. Oh yeah! What the deal when people started saying 'nothing is perfect' when somehing around us that ca be perfect at 1 time? Im tired of that sentence but i keep saying it and keep telling myself that. How about the work part? When we work, we do something to please people which is WHY they want it to be perfect! You see? hah?! im hatig the way things are but its the way it is! Human are human. Cant change who they are.

I seriously have issues. I dont know why. Around this month, its been about 3 weeks. I cant sleep right. My friends says it might be Insomnia. Im not so sure about that. So a very clse cousin of mine suggest me a sleeping pill. S o i did bought the, at the pharmacy. It made me sleep for 9 to 10 hours a day. But i was calm. I love it. It made half dead at the same time still alive wether i want to wake up or not. Its still a choice. Which i hate t. I hate it i hate it! Kiss my ass! Huhh!!!!!!!! I would really love to die for a day or a week so that i could start all oover again and again!

*sigh...hahh...my world is falling apart. My own world. I cant keep doing this. I cant keep pretending. But why other people can? Is it because they are strong enough to handle it? IM NOT. Family's falling apart too. My younger brother cant seem to stand the things that are happening at home, at school, or anywhere with the parents. Well, my dad actually. He ruined everything. I cant focus on my studies. None of us in the family can. I totally hate whats happening with my family now. Its killing me. Its worse than before. :(

My "out of this life or world" unexpectedly a living dump!

See what i mean.=p

Read it.

Whatever you are thinking!

ITS really that bad!

I won a PRICE!

Let's think the craziest thing from rate 5 out of 10

MEN WEARING WOMEN CLOTHINGS. hahahahahaha!!

Your killing me. In some at least 10 different ways, people would think the same but i guess nobody really shows it too much. OPEN YOUR GODDAMN MIND PEOPLE. your not an artist, thats okay. At least try new & crazy things to show off. People might get the idea whats coming from your mind. A NUTCRACK. hahaha. Darn! I must be losing my mind. But u know what. Its okay. Everyone is right?

Turn things upside down might be the best thing in life! you'll never know. =) ngeeeeee...

- I try to think out of the box. Lots of people do tell us everyday. And encourage us to think about it every second. People..people..people..people....why am i mentioning the word 'people' a lot?........=,,=...BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

At first, i imagine my little brother wearing cute make ups and all. Then comes up with my big brother whi is a drummer, rockish kinda guy and imagine him wearing a pink dress with sparkled lipgloss and a very thick eyelashes while playing drums and smiling like Miss World...XD i'll die if he knows about this..shhhhh....!!!

Guys..Girls//ladies!! Men & Women!! I think you all should do the same! Think out of the box! Cause im not..and thats whats making me thinking all about the negative things around me..which sux! okay!

If it rains, dont say 'aww...its raining..i hate rain..i cant go home'..how about say this 'yayy!! its raining!! can sleep well tonight! =)'

He inspires me..

He loves Arts. He's been all around the world. He writes books. He photograph what ever he sees. He teaches. He sings. He plays Frisbee every Sunday. He rides bike. He's good in everything. =)

He taught everything that he knew. He doesnt mind but of course to only certain things. He does everything that makes me wanna do the same. He talks..A Lot=). He loves history. He is my friend=)

All i can say is that i am lucky to know him. I can talk to him about anything that i wanted. He is also a ladies man(from my point of view).

Im glad i know him.

A person who has experience almost in everything. He inspires me because he has a dream which is not everyone is so. He inspires me because he made me believe in myself with just 1 little word. Dont be afraid to do something. He is one of the nicest guy i ever know.

I swear i will keep a promise that i will not dissapoint him.

I would love to learn from him more.

Once a Princess..

Im what i always wanted before. But nothing stays the same forever, I totally doubt that. Look what happen to me. Everything change just like that.

I would want that life back, but if it never change, i would'nt know how other people understand life.

The crown was always on my head. I was the top of the world. I was the princess of the year. I was graceful as Belle in Beauty & The beast. I was what they wanted, what they dream of becoming. But like i said. Nothing last forever. Except?Tell me...

How sweet it is to be in a fairytale just once in your life and it turn out to be just a dream. Rainbows that shines through you..

Im bringing myself home..Im changing..Pack my bags and walk away..

No more of this or that..Try surviving if you can without it(read between the lines)

~I got the papers..
~I got the bags..
~I got the Tv..
~I got the heart..
~I got the car..
~I got the time..
~I got the Luxury..
......But just for 1 second..It sinks...

But i get to stand up and learn something. We fix. That's how life is right?

How i fix? ~....To be continue..

'Dont wanna go'

I'll be missing you, Hope you'll miss me too..Don't wanna go..I dont wanna Go! Can you hear me! ='( shed in tears........i've had enough. I'll fight for you. Im hiding just here but not from you. Im gonna say what i needed to say. I am strong. I am alright. Dont wanna Go! Your leaving. Please. Dont say goodbye. I want you to know, i will always miss you. I am learning everything now. I see everything now. But only with you my friend.., Is this the end?No.

Dont take her away from me. I'll miss you as long as i can remember you. which is forever.

++ She would say, i hate you for lying to me once or twice..Hello can you hear me?
++ Dont ever do that...Im always here..
++ tears....
++ This has to be the way...Im not here anymore..We'll meet together in your dreams..
++ Dont wanna go......tears ='(

.....Hold on now...She is safe...Im happy than to think how safe she is in this cruel world. I once heard people say It's a Poor Life.