Miss 'New girl'

This semester I have a complete story to make it out of. I have been through a lot and im not just saying its me but its everything around me. I believe that it has a twitch somewhere behind those eyes. Im updating here because its the only place that none of my friends or family or boyfriend ould catch up to see this. I just know it. Care too much huh. But oh well. Whats that its that. We expect things to be perfect. Oh yeah! What the deal when people started saying 'nothing is perfect' when somehing around us that ca be perfect at 1 time? Im tired of that sentence but i keep saying it and keep telling myself that. How about the work part? When we work, we do something to please people which is WHY they want it to be perfect! You see? hah?! im hatig the way things are but its the way it is! Human are human. Cant change who they are.

I seriously have issues. I dont know why. Around this month, its been about 3 weeks. I cant sleep right. My friends says it might be Insomnia. Im not so sure about that. So a very clse cousin of mine suggest me a sleeping pill. S o i did bought the, at the pharmacy. It made me sleep for 9 to 10 hours a day. But i was calm. I love it. It made half dead at the same time still alive wether i want to wake up or not. Its still a choice. Which i hate t. I hate it i hate it! Kiss my ass! Huhh!!!!!!!! I would really love to die for a day or a week so that i could start all oover again and again!

*sigh...hahh...my world is falling apart. My own world. I cant keep doing this. I cant keep pretending. But why other people can? Is it because they are strong enough to handle it? IM NOT. Family's falling apart too. My younger brother cant seem to stand the things that are happening at home, at school, or anywhere with the parents. Well, my dad actually. He ruined everything. I cant focus on my studies. None of us in the family can. I totally hate whats happening with my family now. Its killing me. Its worse than before. :(